A time for change

Before I even begin this blog, I beg of you not to judge me. I didn't know I would be struggling with this issue...I wasn't prepared for it. I am, in fact, still processing my thoughts, reactions and realities. But since I am a "verbal processor" I thought typing this out may help...along with sharing a story with you.

My beautiful, moppy, shaggy, oh-so-adorable, car stopping dog is gone. Not gone, gone....Charlotte is still very much alive and with us in the Vann household...but her beautiful exterior has vanished. See my dilemma...such a worldly, shallow concern, but a concern non the less. Wait for it...there's more.

For a while now, Nick and I had concluded that Charlotte would in deed need a hair cut soon. Many reasons brought us to this conclusion: Even during our meek 60 degree days...we would find Charlotte panting like a mad dog, seeking out shade where ever she could find it. We were needing to brush her everyday to manage the clumps and clumps of knots that were forming in her hair. We were constantly stopping her while at the park or on Galbraith Mt to extract the multitude of sticks, pine needles, ivy and other miscellaneous items she collected from mother earth in her leg and belly hair. We even had a scare late one evening due to her projectile vomiting...later to conclude internal cloggage of pine needles in her tummy had messed with her digestive track (while I, of course, thought she was dying). Again...because of her self grooming techniques of extracting park debris from her legs and eating it. So obviously it was time for a cut.

Last week, I did my researched...called a few places in town to learn about their process and pricing. Just so you know, cutting Charlotte's hair costs more than Nick and my haircuts combined. Awesome. But, due to the reasons above, we knew it would be worth it. Overall...less day to day maintenance.

One option we liked:

Another option we liked:

After we scheduled an appointment, I spent some time on the net, searching for Wheaten Terrier hair cuts. I had a specific look in mind and didn't give up the search until I found a few that I liked. I should have know at this point, that it was time to let go of the "mop look" and embrace the change that was due to occur. The thing is though...I didn't want to. I loved my little shaggy bear. I loved that she had this moppy body. I loved that she could only see clearly when we was running at mock speed and the wind blew the hair out of her eyes. I loved that people would roll down their windows and ask "what kind of dog is that?" or stop mid conversation on a sidewalk corner to bend over and pet Charlotte. She was unique. She was different. She was stinking cute!!!! But never the less, Nick and I printed out the photos, discussed, in GREAT detail, what our expectations were, so that when Nick dropped Charlotte off at the groomers, he could clearly communicate what we were wanting.

The big day had finally come, so Nick dropped her off in the middle of the afternoon. Time progressed and Nick hadn't yet received a call from the groomers, that Charlotte was ready. So he stopped by to pick her up at the end of the work day, thinking that they were near done. They requested that Nick return in 2 hours...saying that Charlotte's hair was more matted than she had thought and needed to hand cut the hair with scissors. I was getting a little nervous...because I didn't know what to expect at this point. I kept on thinking...WOW, I'm going to be able to see Charlotte's eyes. Wow...she is going to be completely BLOND when we get her. She's going to have a beard!!! (per our request).

Sure enough, 2 hours later, Nick got the call and picked up Charlotte. We had a few guests over at the time, so obviously I stayed home to be with them.

Upon Nick's return, I suddenly realized that I was worriedly anxious to see Charlotte. Through our back door, I could see Nick's face, but not yet our newly groomed dog. The look he gave me was "prepare yourself." With guests' attention towards that back door, Charlotte was reveled to the crowd and let me tell you...it was a SHOW STOPPER. My hands shot straight to my mouth, my eyes bulged as big as bowling balls and I just stopped breathing. Charlotte of course ran in and greeted everyone, like her usual self, licking and jumping and scaring little children...luckily, not knowing the drastic effect she was having on me. I looked at Nick and immediately scolded him for teasing me like this..."This isn't our dog...where is Charlotte?" His response: "Andi...yes she is...that is Charlotte." Hand still on mouth, I sucked in an even deeper breath and was caught between needing to face reality and running away. With tears welling in my eyes...I called Charlotte to me to get a closer look. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen, she happily waddled her self over to me and gave me a lick. Yep...this was in fact my dog. Mop dog no, more, she is now...well....different.

I felt bad for my gracious guests. They could tell I was still in shock and all responded in different ways. Kristen, sat with me on the floor as I battled through mental dialog ranging from...it's just hair to Oh my gosh...what did they do to my dog???!!! Trevor reassured me that Charlotte's heart was still the same. Right...check...got it. Beauty is only skin deep. Anne Marie just looked at me with wide eyes...knowing that eventually I would get over this and come to terms that my Charlotte is still my Charlotte. As for Nick...he was dancing on a fine line. Trying to be both supportive and realistic...that is a tough dance to dance at a time like this. So I worked through it verbally. Telling myself that I should have prepared myself better for the drastic change she would take. That it really isn't THAT bad...just different. That I would adjust. That I couldn't' allow myself to be feeling saddened and overwhelmed and shocked and outraged anymore because Charlotte is totally a vibe dog and would be able to tell that I was having issues with her. And because life isn't skin deep...

So now...15 hours later, I am still working through this. She is different. Still being Charlotte in having the same: mannerisms, cuddly ways, big stretches, kisses and enthusiasm for life. But it will take some adjusting. Nick laughs at me and inquires about my need for counseling. My laugh back because I know it is silly for me to still be feeling this way. But in a way, I feel like I have lost a part of the old Charlotte and have now gained a new dog. I am looking forward to time. Time seems to help with stuff like this. You get used to things. Then it becomes normal. So that will help. I am also looking forward to the perfumy smell to rid her body. It's just not very Charlottesk. I am excited to go on an adventure with her and let her run and get a little dirty like she should be. And mostly, I am excited for her hair to grow out a bit...to merge back (just a scooch) into a bit more of a shaggy dog and not the blunt, sharp characteristics that define her external appearance now. Don't get me wrong. I still love her as much as I did yesterday morning, before this whole debacle began. I still smash my face into her face and give her the love I desire to give. So, as I tell Nick...try not to judge me...just love me and let me work through this...as silly as it may be.